so i woke up with ketchup and a sticky boob on my face...this is a new low
I wish the health center treadmills counted beers burned not calories
my neighbors are having lesbo sex right now.
I'm on my way.
I didn't mind getting the stomach flu from him. we had great sex AND I'm seven pounds lighter
At least you weren't that one girl in the bar that was letting everyone draw on her in sharpie. Worst decision I've ever witnessed.
After the second day the hotel realized I wasn't responsible enough to have a comforter, so they took it for the rest of the trip.
I woke up in the ER. This living like theres no tomorrow really could mean theres no tomorrow.
They're making him take his shirt off cause they think he's the bouncer. We're in his backyard.
oh and speaking of men I've slept with. Ryan lost 1/3 of a testicle zip lining
Planning a foam party. Swimsuits are mandatory, and please no granny suits. If you wear a granny suit I will stick you in the corner and put a cone hat on your head.
She must've been waiting down the street cause after I said I specialized in inner-thigh-face-massage it couldn't have been 2 minutes until she was on my couch.
I just want my paycheck, and my friends. And alcohol and tacos. Is that so much to ask?
I just found out two girls I dated met each other, bonded over how much they hate me, started dating and are gonna get married soon.
He just sent me a picture of multiple chickens eating in his kitchen... should I be worried
I hope every time you eat hashbrowns you think about me, the awesome sex we had and how great we could have been.
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