Let's hustle tonight so we can relax tomorrow
Perfect. Like where your heads at
By relax I mean have sex
just found the deal breaker
hairy back?
he can't live within 1000 ft of a school
My family just suggested tequila shots. I had Vietnam style flashbacks.
And don't be too jealous. Drinking alone watching a chick flick and masturbating isn't nearly as glamorous as it sounds
Family bonfire. I just discovered my cousin drank an entire bottle of champagne at the age of 7. I just got showed up.
You lured him into the bathroom with a trail of jello shots, then proceeded to barricade the door with duct tape. You really should have thought that one through..
We are keeping it ultra classy drinking 40s and playing croquet with 90s rap blasting in the back ground
If I win the contest of drinking the most water I get a chicken nugget.
Welcome to a new world. May the gods of weed smile upon you as you embark on exploring this new dimension.
The funny part was that the cop pulled us over cause the park was closed, not because I had just come up from giving the guy a blowjob when the cop drove by.
We were in his kitchen and she turned to me with a straight face and an avocado in her hand and said "Can we steal this?"
The horniest man in the world doesn't want sex as bad as I want pizza right now.
She may be more beautiful than I am, but I bet she hasnt pissed in as many public places as me...
Why do I have a wristband from the birthing center at the University of Maryland hospital....
I fucking hate humanity. I met a twenty three year old adult with an aol email account today. I'm not sure how those things are related, but I'm sure they are.
Randomize
