i can't believe i haven't brushed my teeth. and i just kissed my grandma. I'm going to hell.
She was so high she ate a little piece of weed off her pants and thought it was food.
I don't think requesting him as a BBM contact is proper protocol following vomming in his bed.
is it bad that I didn't wash the cum out of my hair because it keeps my curls intact?
We ate a mysterious delivered pizza which no one ordered and then the wii wouldn't work so 20 of us watched porn on two laptops. Drunk took the awkward away.
I am not going to ask my mother to pause a movie so I can have phone sex.
It must suffice lest there secretly exist a picture of me walking out of the ocean at midnight naked and half mast with a sea urchin on my ass
SINCE WHEN WAS USING A FROZEN WATER BOTTLE ATTACHED TO A ROPE AS A THROWING WEAPON A GOOD IDEA??
I did cocaine off my boobs last night. Then I wrote two essays and went on a run. Go me
I made a nest in his bed. I'm not leaving
I'm smoking and watching the Muppets Treasure Island. Where are you?
Something about that statement reminds me just how much of a role model you are, sis.
Everything isn’t always sunshine & rainbows. Sometimes there’s tequila.
I didn't have anyone to cheers so I tapped my beer on your fish tank... a little too hard
I miss your drunken presence, and strong odor of hard liquor and potent weed.
That is our entire relationship. We match bowls and give each other head. What more could you possibly want?
Randomize
