SOME GIRL ON THE STAIRS IN FRONT OF ME JUST FARTED AND IT WENT STRAIGHT INTO MY MOUTH!
After watching Cinemax for a few months, real porn just grosses me out.
DUUUDE!! just found out that the fbi has a kids page. guess who's got a new jumior officer printout badge?
I got my parents high. They've been watching spongebob for six hours. You cannot tell me I'm not the favorite
on a side note you can NOT make bong water out of a pear
Every perfect package comes with a warning label.
I told her the maid must have stolen all my condoms. She bought it
The gay viking and his eqyptian 'queen' hooked up on our couches. They pushed them together to make a bed. Innovative, but awkward to come home from work to at 7 am.
you shall refer to me as my indian name from now on...running with dumb cunts
therea a video of her dad walking in while i screamed "lets have a fashion show!" and fell off the table
drunk grocery shopping was not as bad of an idea as i thought, this salmon cat food tastes a lot like tuna
First day back to class and I have already pulled out the hard liquor
There’s a special place in hell for tall guys with small dicks
Just got an exam care package consisting of only adderall wrapped in money. Score onr for mom.
I don't know what she did to me last night, but the scratches on my back indicate that I had sex with a Bengal tiger last night.
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