i feel like i'm waiting in line to date brett michaels
oh wait, my morality sensor is a little fucked up since I almost let my little sister's friend blow me.
he drunkenly confessed to whacking off before coming over so the sex'd be longer. this one's a keeper
i just watched kanye west and taylor swift have a chugging contest. why cant halloween be every day
basically at this point ill snort whatever you put in front of me and just hope
I cant do that to my vagina yet. its my prize posession.
googling pictures of Lindsey Lohan so that I know what to wear to court is definitely a low point in my life
Finishing last nights 1.5L of wine and beef jerky for breakfast. Work looms, ever the prickly bitch.
as he was fingering me, all I was thinking about was how lucky his girlfriend is...
Last night I went to spank her while she was riding me and sack-tapped myself.
He saved you from those guys at the club, took you home, and made you breakfast. If this isn't your come to Jesus moment IDK what is.
We got a noise complaint for vacuuming too much but not for getting really high and yelling about peanut butter
I'll do whatever I want when I'm 80.
If you are still alive at 80 I demand a medical explanation.
My vagina just clenched in fear
no real plans this weekend. trying to derail the alcohol induced fucking hell train I've been riding for the past three weeks.
Randomize
