My sheets look like a crime scene.
After I told my husband the docter shot me in the ass, he said - oh they can but I can't?!
he kept bringing up different times we had sex and i wouldnt say anything back. i would never confirm nor deny the situation...like a politician ya kno
hows the new call of duty?
I only had sex with the game case so far, but that part was awesome.
shes on the floor puking and texting simultaneously.
can't remember last night but the beers were $3.50, so i can count how many I had by counting my quarters
i can afford to take several trips up and down the parkway right now if I wasn't still hanging over my toilet
I think he just gave me the 'I used to sleep with your sister' discount
Did you really just use your nipple as a unit of measurement?
The more I stare at her and block out what she's actually saying with thoughts of what she could be saying, the more interested I become
I was literally convinced that the turkey wrap i was eating was keeping me alive. And i couldnt have been happier. That high.
I chugged a beer while I was riding him and he told me it was the sexiest thing he has ever seen. this guy knows class when he sees it.
I'm pricing out a roll of that wax butcher paper. We fuck too messy and I can't afford to wash them every afternoon.
Omg he has a washer and dryer IN his apartment and lots of back up toilet paper. I went home with an adult. My uterus is pumping out eggs beyond my control.
You tried to ride his dick and fell off. Then tried to ride the floor. That's why he hasn't called back
I just wanna be euthanized
Thas it
Randomize
