Eating meat and looking at porn while roommate is at church for Ash Wednesday. Win.
It may be that your sole purpose in life is simply to serve as a warning to others..
Any idea who the guy in my bed tagged as rattlesnake dick might be?
Dorm room. In. Elevator. Fell in. Boom. Puke
You started a dance party so that you could steal their vodka and shouted "sailors out!"
Oh. And what's the twitter protocol for following the guy you blew behind a shed?
I have had more skin than food in my mouth the last three days
he slipped a picture of a kangaroo under my door that said "im sorry" on the back and passed out on my lawn.. who the fuck is this kid?
Accidentally peeing a little on the couch in the middle of a sneeze is way different from railing a random on our waffle counter. I am the better roommate.
But the drunk streaking fizzled when one of jake's friends took a piss while running with a massive erection.
My sugar daddy is a bigger asshole than i am. What's wrong here?
There should be a company that sends nadgrams. They're like candy grams except the recipient gets kicked in the balls.
I tried to have a quickie with him at the company happy hour. I think I need to quit my job.
She was riding a razor scooter down the street wearing nothing but a feather boa it was beautiful.
at the hospital. Kevin drank straight from the river
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