isn't that the guy who always buys you drinks?
yeah. i love a man who still buys me drinks after the bar cuts me off.
next time on intervention
Traded my phone for pizza, then got it back this morning....successful night
If man night ends at some point, hit me up and let me prove my vagina still exists.
I woke up this morning and the search history on my phone says: "What is this castle in front of my house?"
Btw... when someone is licking your balls, "yeah... that's not the worst thing in the world" is not an appropriate compliment/thank you.
drinking right out of the bottle and nobody bats an eye.
its good to be home.
You're gonna be proud in the future that you fucked the next bill gates
Also I want everyone to be drunk at my funeral. Instead of wearing black just blackout. That way everyone can celebrate how fun I was
just saw a kid get pissed on buy a tiger at the zoo. His dad is rofling and the kid is crying. I think I have to go make a new friend
I'm hungover during 4th grade graduation practice. I AM THEIR FUTURE.
I've never been so excited to have my ass in so much pain.
I'm so hung over that I just tried to send you a screen shot of the cracked screen on my phone.
He said something last night about making crepes, but after getting pissed on in bed, I question everything.
I woke up at 3am, top off, with campus security telling me to get dressed. Tonight was a GOOD NIGHT
i just sneezed the second i jizzed and it got in my eye. words can't describe how much i hate life right now.
Randomize
