Regardless thnx for trying to help out, I realize we are dealing w/ very stupid girls here
dude i was like still drunk, taking pictures of her while she was naked and asleep and she woke up
haha what'd she say
i don't know man, something about us dating. but i never talked to her sober so i said i was making breakfast and snuck out of her house. close calls man WTF
My BOSS just pulled out a box of Christmas stuff labeled reefs.
the sad thing is, im pretty sure she was serious about giving me head for my falafel
Trying to low-key throw up in the ocean is harder than it seems.
he fucked me so hard i could feel my pelvis shifting. like i legit feel more prepared for childirth now
i'm totally cool with all the dick sucking you're doing down there, but as your brother i think i'm supposed to warn you our parents will be home in 5
Here you are just trying to masturbate and I'm talking to you like your an initiate for some secret society.
My drug dealer just made me weigh out my own weed because he was in the middle of taking his law enforcement final
He asked me how france is treating me
Tell him you got so much dick you may never come back to the US. That ought to keep him away
hahahaha what do we need the kangaroos for? please tell me we release them instead of doves
I was fed cake in bed and then was pinned down and ridden till I came. And then fed more cake. I'm going to marry Brad. I'll put money on it.
Ive already seen two fights and a clown urinating in the middle of the street. Hello Halloween 2014.
We just had can't-look-you-in-the-eye sex and it was still surprisingly good
After walking ten blocks barefoot in Boston I've concluded drunk me needs to make better decisions.
Randomize
