i am not above fucking your little sister on your bed
there is no way he can be that small
look on the bright side he'll over comepensate
Apparently in gay bars the restroom signs are just a formality. Its a free for all in there
Yeah you fell over while you were peeing and you said "hold I'm, I'm still peeing"
test run with donkey pinata disastrous. broken glass and tequila EVERYWHERE
He was using OnStar to get directions to the bar. I'm pretty sure he'd have gotten her number too if I hadn't disconnected the call.
#1- I went to button my shirt only to find they were all mising. #2- I'm so fu@king sore I feel like I was sweating to the oldies all night. #3- this pounding headache I have, I blame solely on Jennifer. Everyone sounds like Billy Mays when they talk. I remember nothing from last night, I'm concerned.
In other news, I apparently ate my retainers while rolling last night.
Can I just text her like "yo sorry I fucked your boyfriend, let's go get sushi" or like nah
She can't even plan ahead to have toilet paper for her next shit
I came home with 30lbs of BBQ last night. I can't pick up women in a bar but I sure can pick up leftovers from a corporate party.
To be honest. I have two poptarts in my jacket pockets. No one knows. I am pro stealth.
So you're not gonna be in town tonight?! Your dick was the light at the end of my academic tunnel!
I've come to the conclusion, I should prob have at least 20 hr supervision. I would say 24, but I'm guaranteed to pass out for at least 4 hrs a day
i just want to cuddle, make out and maybe have a boob grabbed but no. someone has to have mono.
Randomize
