But regardless, you really stood out last night, you should give me a chance
Sorry but you seem like a potential womanizer
final count. 18 beers. 4 shots baileys. 2 shots vodka. 1 glass champagne. vomited in the yard after losing my phone in a field for 8 hours. Possibly played tag with myself
Girls should come with a carfax report
On the bright side I got 500 American Express points paying for the abortion
24 hours later and my vagina is still tingling. That good.
WHY ARE YOU POKING HOLES IN MY 3AM LOGIC?!
Basically as long as the fan is pointed at my vagina i can cool off enough to sleep.
I have a surprise for you guys
What is it?
A MOTHER FUCKING SURPRISE DON'T ASK QUESTIONS
God loves me. So high, craving Jimmy Johns chips, looked down, unopened bag in front of me. Still doesn't feel real
I'm not gonna lie. The thing I miss the most about him right now is the air conditioned hotel rooms.
If we all have the time, and the weather permits, and you have no plans, we should have another go at Operation Get Our Carless Friends Laid. All the lonely people will be out. We can take our lonely people out too.
He seems like a super lonely dude. I bet if I gave him a picture of my tits he wouldn't make me turn in this paper.
There's a Taco Bell quesadilla in my shower caddy right now.
Tell me again why we had to Facebook stalk your therapist?
dude the water is back on, you can stop shitting under the tree . . .
Randomize
