I dont think problem is the right word. Problems arent something you enjoy. Life would be too boring without gambling.
so he just called his new girlfriend by my name and she was too drunk to even notice how awkward..
I keep waking up with the nagging feeling I gave him half a hand job through his shorts.
Am I the only one creeped out by the guy asleep behind our couch?
I had a guy present me his prison release form this morning as id
You straddled the banister and fell down the stairs, then proceeded to crawl back up them, I think you need to lay down
Bro, did you watch that scooby doo porn I sent to you?
I am not exagerating when I say the thought "screw you future me" actually just went through my head
I. recorded a message of me yelling at myself to "get up out of that bed" and set it an alarm. REALLY loud
Your children are clinging to me like my teets are full of bountiful milkiness. They're driving me nuts. I felt my uterus shrivel up.
I just need some dick and some jimmy johns
Dude my body has gone into shock from not eating frozen pizza and chips. I've been shitting like Richard Simmons after a night out of twerking in a corn field
We're at the liquor store. Then going to the hospital
Also, full disclose I puked in a fruit barrel box
how is it I left wearing underwear then ended up with none? and why is it they are on you?
Randomize
