i barfeds in our rink
nothing this campus sells is worth it. not even sex.
You kept hiding marshmallows in the freezer saying "they would never think to look here"
I'm love that we're talking about a possible 3rd 3some, and that you're going to be a dad.
All is not lost. The bondage chair came with repair seals and glue. It's like the knewwwwwww this would happen.
Jordan and I are drunk and barred out at the liquor store sitting in the awesome $70 Corona bench bargaining with the owner for a lower price, all while passing the Belvedere bottle between the two of us. Real life. College has down this.
Dude he's your dog he doesn't love me more than you. I'm just like that cool uncle that takes him to burger king and to see girls.
i've really grown. sober me left an alarm for me every 10 minutes that said NO FAT CHICKS!
dude. im stealing that.
Oh, and she's that dumb bitch that goes out in public in full make up and sweats with uggs. I hope she falls face first in a bowl of queso and drowns
There's a patch of dead grass from where you would notoriously throw up after every good night in July. This summer was great.
I fucked my ex boyfriend to get shrooms for you guys
That's the sweetest thing I've ever heard
so I ate shit in the bar and took a barstool down with me and this guy helped me up and I just started making out with him. I need to stop meeting men like that
What're you gonna do with the rest of your night?
Probably watching cooking videos and fantasizing about pie
I think I gave a random lady a dildo
Again?!
I also woke up in a bed soaked of pee and drunkenly lectured him on the dangers of chewing tobacco... weird night
Randomize
