You're my favorite asian/girl I've met here.
You're ridiculous
Your hot
I bought a boat. Want to have sex on The Angry Clam? That's what I named it.
We didn't go..parents came home with patron wanting to play drinking games --we asked no questions
my roommate's gf just broke up with him and hes in his room crying and listening to coldplay while beating off to pictures of her...
so he came over for the first time and i completely forgot i had pictures of him printed out from facebook on my wall and a newspaper article with him in it.. you can guess that it lead for an awkward situation.
I'm stuck on the dance floor between two fat people. I don't think they feel my existence. Please help.
in literally every picture i'm wearing less and less of my costume.
Welp just pooped in a garbage can. Guess I'm not better than you at life in any aspect.
No one should ever have to Neosporin their nipples. At least he apologized.
is there a way to say "yea i broke my wrist cause i fell down some stairs while tripping my face off on acid" without actually saying it?
My mom just asked me about the teeth marks on my headboard..
I just turned down an invite to sit on a face. IDK who I am.
What? Are you sick?
i look like i'm walk-of-shaming but i'm really showered and re-clothed and rallying. i fool everyone
was that you i just saw walking down the street in only one heel smoking a cig yelling "hello sexuals" to everyone who passed??
HELLLLLO SEXUAL BEING
It was bad. U were calling my cat "kittiano" and playing her like a piano. Way too drunk my friend.
Randomize
