ID DO HER
SHE HAS LUMPS OF DEODORANT IN HER ARMPIT, I THINK ONE FELL IN YOUR DRINK
worms taste like bacon by the way.
I always wondered what they tasted like.
Not only do prius' look terrible they are terrible to have sex in
I've never watched DWTS before, but this show's got Pamela Anderson, Erin Andrews and Brooke Burke: 3 of my top 10 all time most masturbated to women.
we just finished making mockaritas... then we prayed
god you guys know how to party
worst. bachelorette party. ever.
you're a fucking everclear ninja. the whole goddamn formal blacked out. you're the worst dj ever
but I'm the best friend ever. I got you laid
Since he's sober and out of jail, he acts like we are the worst people on Earth. Fuck him, the only acceptable time in life to do coke is the early twenties. He won't take that from us.
I'm not really made for random hookups.. i'm like a swan.. i don't wanna have random swan sex. i just wanna have one swan hubby and fly around the world together and eat bread that people throw at us..
Why is it so hot and why are these the only pants in my life.
Dont worry bro, i'll be the designated kayaker. I wouldnt want u to be drinking and kayaking.
I'm gonna have to get you a special blowjob bib -- like a lobster bib -- but instead of a picture of a little red lobster, it will have a picture of a penis, with 3 big squirts coming out.
Oh my god and he smells like heaven wrapped in a beard of knowledge
idk man, I was fucked up and eating fried rice at the grocery store, tried to wave at her but she just looked concerned at me.
friends who go to the bar together leave the bar together and im not leaving you behind ohana means family
My boyfriend and my fuck buddy are going to the strip club together... Should I be concerned?
Randomize
