Culvers...So Good
So good. The butter burgers slip right outta my ass.
I wanna eat
then frost
then eat your cupcake
I can’t believe the potential orgy I left behind at Waffle House.
i just posted a lake picture of you with a dead fish in your mouth. happy july 5th.
in hindsight, drinking 2 bottles of wine probably wasnt going to put me in an optimal position for a job interview
awesome recipe for disaster- bar hopping at the airport
while 90% of the female population goes to worship a fictional character tonight at midnight, I will be taking advantage of having the bars ALL TO MYSELF.
it went kinda like vodka, childhood memories, screaming/cursing, fist fight, tears, broken shit, passing out. in that order. tis the season.
Her brother is deaf.
no wonder she was so good with her hands
Now there are two cop cars. If I go to jail I just would like to thank you for making me wear boxers.
I showed him my toy collection and he goes, "You won't need those anymore," and dropped his pants. I threw the House of Pleasure out last night.
i took four shots of tequila, threw my fist up in the air, then went around the party showing everyone how to do the ninja turtle handshake. that's the last thing I remember
I can show you the world. Shining, splimbering vaginaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa
college girl with braces trying to flirt with you...time to go
i had sex with a girl named after a fruit last night and it was the best thing to happen to me in 2020
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