Yes give me all the cream and he's gone
I just found out she jerks off to lesbian porn too honest to god
you wouldn't believe how perfect a match this is its scary
it took everything i had not to yell out "your name means death in german!"
i'm so bored i'm watching porn for fun. not even jacking off or anything. just watching.
We shouldn"t be alone together
you didn"t say that yesterday
you weren't married yesterday
Dude she has the ugliest blow job face ever.
he ruins everything I try to do including his roommates
I hope your sleeping good cuz when u wake up im punching you square in the face
He said I act like a cross between a kindergartener and a high 70 year old man. Which is inacurate because it fails to account for the disco obsession.
There is always the bar, but 2 30 on a Tuesday just screams alcoholism
You would think a husband, a boyfriend, and a vibrator would be enough. But sadly it's not
Our friendship just got weirder. He snapchated me the porn he was watching.
Getting on a bus with a beer pong table. I am proof we can make this campus fun.
You don't have to buy me dinner, watch tv or even hang out if you don't want. Just fuck.
Did you clean my apartment?
I thought it was a dream, I'm sorry
Please stay more often
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