I keep trying to leave, but for some reason I'm staying
he sent her a picture of his penis to show that he "trusts her" or some shit like that..well she showed it to me, and let me just tell you..it looked like a freaking slug or something. creepiest penis i've ever seen. hands down
My bosses just told me they met their wives on one night stands. I'm stoked.
why is there a clump of hair nailed to my wall?
So I did end up texting him last night... I asked him how he felt about haircuts... not sure where I was going with that one?
I am in his childhood bedroom and I feel like his trophies are applauding me and his stuffed bunny is disgusted with me. Did you know he was a mathlete?
Just reminding you that you are currently drunk spooning a chair saying it "loves you unconditionally". No more rum.
You were literally hanging out the window and dancing to the remix to Ignition when we drove you home
He's listening to "my heart will go on" by himself in the living and its not even noon. MAKE IT STOP.
yeah I had to wear a fucking diaper from work home so I didn't get the shitty squirts all over my cars seats it was fucked
You walked up to a random girl on the street and asked her for a bite of her pizza...
I think I pulled a muscle in my tongue.
sorry? thank you? I love you?
oh so have I but I'd still suck a dick or 20 in the name of freedom.
Although the guy I'm messing around with just offered to let me be his rich brother's sugar baby
You started having a threesome right in front of me.
lololol that's what happened?
Stephanie looked me right in the eye while she was going down on you. It made me really uncomfortable.
Randomize
