hipster in red sally jessy raphael glasses inside. kick her.
Your kinda stuck between a rock and his hard dick on this one..
Packing up everything in the dorm. Silly bands to unused condom ratio is ridiculous.
I'd rather say I'm a whore then admit it's his child. Its that bad.
And with me just getting pulled over and you maxing your card out on tennis balls I don't know if we can afford it
Someone spilled vodka all over the elevator floor. Bring straws.
I don't know... But I do think this is probably the longest series of texts we've written discussing your cock. David was right, it is a brave new world. Also, slow day at work again?
My underwear said "hard to get" on the butt. He laughed when he took them off.
Apparently, the right response to, "How do you feel about a terrorist being in the area?" isn't, "Well, we have vodka in the freezer, so we're good for now."
did i make more ranch sandwiches last night
you had 4
It made me want to take you home, put you in footie pajamas and feed you spaghettios
Yeah that's a good idea.. I like to be responsible when I trip my nuts off
he bought me ice cream then took me home and fucked the shit outta me. you can't write this kinda romance.
Typically a man doesn't buy a woman a drink in hopes of her laughing at his penis, but no one said I was normal.
We haven't had hot water in our dorm all weekend. Do you know if there is any other way to wash off shame?
Randomize
