So I used to make fun of texas a lot, then I got here and I found a place where I could get my tequila in a to go cup with a straw and I realized that this is the only place I ever want to be
its like they have never seen someone walk through campus with a plunger
dudes here are drinking wine, and not in the forgivable 'just doing this to get laid' way
Are you in a cab?
I'm close- can you order me a bowl of vodka?
Why do i even want him? It's like his dick is a trophy and I need to put it on my wall of shame.
Wtf just happened. Thought you were in my bed since 3am, turned out I was sharing it w/a drunk girl from the 6th floor lounge...
I can already see the regret in her eyes. Amazing night. This city rules.
Dude it's bad when your 10 year old son makes fun of your penis size.
My entire news feed is ice bucket challenges. I wish there was a hide from feed button like FarmVille
I just pawned the ring from my ex boyfriend to replace the ring I lost from my current boyfriend. #thanks
Out of ten? A seven. You pulled your shorts down to your ankles, jumped into the pool and announced you were a merman.
congrats on being the token straight people in our group.
Nah, i wasn't offended. Having a bridesmaid who you had had multiple threesomes with your future husband would be weird.
My ex boyfriend just amazon primed me a vibrator...guess I seemed stressed?
she wouldnt leave because they were playing One Direction. I'm dating a thirteen year old.
Randomize
