love how google fills in search terms for you, today for example, i ran a query for "why do girls get t"
and google finished it w/ "ramp stamps."
I felt less weird knowing others had searched this before me.
Um....I woke up to a lipgloss covered bottle of Jack daniels in my arms..
You've kissed worse.
This pizza tastes like mashed potatoes. HOW HIGH DO YOU THINK I AM?
I literally made his dick bleed. How the fuck do you think it went?
You coming out tonight? We gotta hang out before I move to Madison. BTW I'm moving to Madison.
His best friend walked in while we were banging, turned on the light, yelled BURN, grabbed his computer to play the Thunderstruck drinking game, turned off the light and left.
he belly flopped onto the beer pong table, and almost boke his face, so at that point we decided swimming would be safer for him.
You put your name in his phone but not your number then screamed "Open the door!" and jumped out of the car
Yo if you blacked out last night, careful going through your purse. There's cocaine in a lollipop wrapper.
I have no idea what that means but I'm googling things just so I can watch my thumbs move
Driving home this morning in my minion costume makes me rethink the 0 tint on my windows.
We got to his house, cuddled while watching game of thrones, then fucked during the repeat airing.
Um. Did you take a picture of me with a giant dildo after we went bowling?
My adderall dealer raised his prices due to "impending inflation" ... never buying from a college grad again
I hate when I'm sexting and I make a typo.
You just killed the sext mood.
Randomize
