Dude has a bag of wine attached to his belt. These guys don't fuck around.
I never had a problem I couldn't slut my way out of.
I just got a new temperpedic mattress pad and started smoking weed again in the same week. finding motivation to go to a 9:AM class is close to impossible.
I thought i'd save money with No Heat November but the amount of whiskey i have to buy to stay warm is probably adding up to more than a heat bill.
One of my other friends found me and the dog in the back seat of this one guy's car....I don't even know
I'm deleting all the photos of dicks off my phone. This relationship could be serious
We invented this drinking game where you pick and random video and drink for every misspelled word in the youtube comments. It did not end well.
8===D
That's the bat signal to come over and fuck me.
I threw up in a Buffalo Wild Wings and then got a high-five. I really don't understand America
I went out to have a smoke, and next thing I know, he's got me bent over a picnic table praying to deities I don't believe in. You should have been there.
I don't want anything calamari shaped after last night. But I appreciate the Cheerios offer.
He did 5 five hand stand push ups and took off his shirt for a barbarian flex. Some girl took off her shirt and threw it at him
So last night, I bought mother's day cards and the Plan B pill.
I am watching the most amazing drunk person ever. Literally such a trooper that you can put anything in front of him he'll drink it. His latest reason for taking another shot was: well whatever. I'm never gonna get married anyway.
Only good thing about the 50 Shades is that it is now completely OK to call a credit card co to dispute the charge for nipple clamps that didnt arrive.
Randomize
