There are just some things I refuse to put in my mouth.
Just mADE A PArabola og urine
So yes it WAS her period, NOT a nose bleed.
Dude you didn't move for like 2 hours then suddenly sang the chorus to ghetto superstar and passed back out
like a dude with a badge in a golf cart is gunna do shit. Unless he has a tazer. Then it's fair game.
He kept pouting and saying i cockblocked him and I kept yelling "I'm sorry...but the cock was never out to be blocked"
I took a few sips of my hugeee bottle of liquid Vicodin and smoked my one hitter and now I'm going thru my attic like Indiana Jones
And for some reason I just want to have sex with EVERYTHING
He's the conductor of the struggle bus
I RODE THAT FINE PIECE OF STRUGGLE BUS
I just ironed my gstring.. this is please fuck my brains out on a whole new level.
I just ordered a "football meatlong" from subway
250 people in this lecture & my prof asks who already drank green beer this morning& is drunk right now. I WAS THE ONLY ONE TO RAISE MY HAND
I've been continuously high for the last 48 hours, and just broke my 4th vibrator. Coincidence? FIND ME A MAN I BEG OF YOU.
Chick in the kitchen making breakfast.. Yours or mine?
But yeah, I am thinking that "Cake Heresy" will now be a thing
Randomize
