You kept telling the cops that our ice luge was practice for the next winter olympics
it was pretty much a given that i would lose my thong on dollar tequilla shot night
Stop inviting me to your birth control calender reminders...my job is to test its effectiveness, not know its schedule
Lmao sorry
We literally just Chinese fire drilled so I could give him road head.
'TWAS BUT A GLORIOUS SIGHT. BITCHES.
So I can confidently say that I'm the only 3rd year engineering student who completed all 4 of their exams with One Direction pens
Oh by "being festive" I mean make tacos for dinner.
Some small part of me hopes I'm on the probationary list because of seeing the Dean at that fetish party.
IDK I WAS CAUGHT UP IN THE TEQUILA SHOTS AND FRIENDSHIP
If you saw or spoke to me yesterday can you message me. Trying to make a timeline of the day I was too drunk to remember
He's not very smart so he didn't know I was yelling at him with monologues from Scandal.
He stopped mid thrust ... To check snap chat .. From his roomie
i'm eating chex mix in the shower while texting. i feel accomplished.
Why did I wake up with a half-eaten burrito and a vaccuum cleaner in my bed? ...on top of me.
He’s got a big dick and a big ego. This could be fun
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