i took my goldfish out of his bowl last night and put him in my bed
you were fixing your hair in the bathroom mirror and then fell backwards through the locked stall while she was in mid pee and fell on her lap.
She said we should all be mermaids since didn't breathe for 9 months inside our mothers. I want her logic.
I wish! That ended in 2001 when we all got collectively band from the Settle Inn. As a group we are also band from social events at the zoo. It's impressive really.
I'm at this kids house trying to figure out if I pissed in his kitchen new years eve. Lmao, stop letting me drink.
I don't care if he was in that porno. He looked like he knew what he was doing.
tried to out drink an american air force weapons loader. never again
he just sat there, in the doorway of my dorm room, chuggin a fifth like nobodys buisness.. don't know whether to fuck him or be afraid of his confidence
I have a high opinion of you, you smash bitches. Respect.
Officially crunch time. It's my last year of grad school and I've yet to get blown in a school library. The parking garage was less than a block away though.
No. I'm sorry but once your "would go gay for" list exceeds five people, you're bi. Get over it.
Accepting his friend request would be the Facebook equivalent of pity sex.
I'm gonna cum garlic butter
All I remember is me taking my automatic nerf gun getting on top of him and saying..."look whos in control now!"
It occurred to me today, whilst I was on the phone to boyfriend number 1, whilst in the car with boyfriend number 2 who was dropping me at the shops to meet boyfriend number 3 to help me buy a present for boyfriend number 4 that I should be having much more sex than I am.
Randomize
