im surounded by vag. Like smog aound LA, i am suffocating in an atmosphere of pussy
I wanna passion pit in your ass
dude, that chick is coming to see me and stay for 2 nights. I'm hitting the 3rd in the trifecta of friends.
You're one hell of a depraved bastard dude, I'm borderline speechless. You officially win.
They all have matching tattoos so they're all official bffs. I love my life.
Went to mcdonalds... Wishing I could throw up the last 20 hours of my life.
it wasn't THAT bad but he definitely called his dick an asshole and said sorry to my vagina
She should get an extra 30 days for that Georgia Rule movie......terrible.
seriously, i am too high for the omelet station to be playing Being For The Benefit Of Mr Kite at 7am
Wine floats aren't as good of an idea as they seem
So it turns out rose was the bear hunting girl. Fuck my life
None of those words made sense together.
i figured out i could get from the downstairs bar to the upstairs bar AND grab pizza by going through the kitchen. it was the greatest discovery of my life besides the flabongo.
Yeah, you're right, it's a conspiracy against you. This small tight knit group of people who don't like assholes.
I'm so hungover. I just keep eating the otter pops I'm trying to use to get rid of my hickies.
I like the wholesome side of you
I'm so goddamned horny I could use all my pent up energy to tear a redwood out by its roots.
If the river was whiskey, it would be the best river ever.
I'm out of milk so I'm dunking my Oreos in Bailey's; this is my life now.
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