So we tried to 69 with him on top. NEVER TRY IT. His balls were in my eyes and it was terrifying.
she won't take no for an answer... no matter what language i said it in
yea. Don't mess. He will heal me. But my blowjobs will be historical.
Huh interesting. Well thats too bad. Did he catch on?
I doubt it. After sex he sat there naked until the episode of fresh prince (which had JUST started) was over.
i had a super strange, mommy/daddy issuestastic, mildly freudian, i-might-as-well-become-a-stripper-now-and-stop-fighting-the-inevitable dream last night :(
I totally straight up jacked your pants. I am so sorry.
You slid down a wall, tried to pull your cast off and yelled that casts were too conformist.
Please tell me how the stripper got back to Sarah's from the trailer park
Well I've made a drinking game out of the Wiggles but I think I've got this babysitting thing down
And besides a nice relationship, I just really want to get laid damnit
Last time I "ran into him" I ended up with the clap and had to explain why the ladder was missing from the garage.
MY HISTORY TEACHER IS FUCKING MY MOTHER. I am downstairs and i can hear the squeak of the bedsprings please I swear to god pick me up THIS INSTANT.
Just used the pen i got in my signing ceremony to pack down my bowl. coach would be proud
The cashier looked at my basket, looked at me and said "That's a lot of wine." I looked at her and said "Mother in law." She nodded approvingly.
I text the word "masturbation" so much, all it only takes my iPhone to auto-spell it is for me to type "mas".
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