We found her hiding in the bath tub.. And when i opened the curtain she replied "thank you" and walked out like nothing happened.
What sexual position says im sorry for your loss?
I just realized I turned down a booty call too. To make cheesecake. God help us all
It was total unicorn galloping on a fucking rainbow awesome.
We should discuss this later when sobriety has returned. Right now he's just like a distant cousin.
Either you got hacked or we need to have a serious discussion about sending penis enlargement emails to your straight friends and why you shouldn't. It sends the wrong message.
There is a special place in Hell for whichever one of you put Ben Gay on my dildo. It was a very uncomfortable April 1.
Well, we won the drunk before noon contest!
Crappy Mother's Day to you! Those of us who don't have children fill the void with hot sex, sleeping in, more sex, leisurely suntanning, foreign travel, overseas sex, paying cash for sports cars, watching TV, having sex on the floor in front of TV porn, lounging around the house, or whatever the hell we want.
My head feels like Jesus is projectile vomiting hammers on it
Accepting his friend request would be the Facebook equivalent of pity sex.
Text me later if you aren't dead and wanna have a drink later
It was a good hour of moans, penis compliments, smacks, and what sounded like someone running in flip flops
COCAINE AND SUSPENSFUL BBC SHOWS DO NOT WORK.
Emojis can't explain what he felt when that ass dropped
Randomize
