I'm at breakfast still drunk holding a blow up parrot
That girl would be way hotter if she changed her face.
Throw up on the ground, people dancing to loud Bollywood music, seats literally missing. Fuck I hate public transit
Tonight is one of those "I'm wearing a shirt as a dress" nights because I need to get laid.
How are YOU going to look? Buying 40's on Christmas eve.
not much sitting here stoned eating my little sisters halloween candy and judging each individual hersheys candy bar and after much deliberation by the selection committee the original hersheys chocolate bar won
Well were gunna have to wash the couch cover now...maybe even the couch, soap or fire your decision
it's gotten to the point where there are no existing good choices. even our good choices are bad choice by anyone's standards but ours.
Mother fucker, I knew it was bad when you tried making out with my car window
Hey, if I'm gonna bastard a child and ruin his life, I'm going balls out.
The guy next to me just said he wont play beer pong on principle. Im scared.
Celebrated the veterans I suppose, my mouth tastes of gin and black outs
After that time I came to the conclusion that jeeps are the best cars to have sex in
Okay so I've been talking to the mice again and they agree with me that you're a piece of shit.
Dude. All I know is that I woke up on the floor with two naked chicks who don't speak English.
Clutch
Randomize
