Being alone has allowed me to flourish into a complete weirdo
he keeps dipping things in ranch and feeding them to me
bang him and never speak to him again. also, queef in his face.
i dont this its possible to queef on command.
Just saw an old lady vomit in a trash can at the airport. I instinctively called her a pussy. College has ruined us.
We've completely outdone ourselves. We packaged a collective total of six grams of pot and salvia into little bowl-sized tinfoil capsules. It's totally impossible to tell which is which without comparing, every Friday from now on we pick one out and see what the fuck happens
why is there a fishing net hanging from my ceiling fan?
You might have crossed the line by jerking off while she was in the bathroom taking a prego test. Just saying
I just woke up tangled in fishing line while wearing someone else's bathing suit with fishes drawn all over me. What kind of sex did we have?
I'm back in the dating scene now... Since the legality issue calmed down. And my stalking charges were dropped.
I'd marry him just to keep his penis in the country
It's been two whole weeks and I haven't missed a single class. I deserve 69 blunts.
I accidentally sent a snap of my puss with the Republican filter... Totally killed his boner
I can't find my keys and there's a hotdog in my purse.
I will not abuse the gift that was given to me
You were given a vagina and you abuse that pretty hard
Can you dump a guy for having pierced nipples or is that shallow?
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