; Think of how many worthless people would b non existant if there was no liquor so their parents never hooked up
She looks like Robin Williams dressed as a frog.
this other lifeguard and I are actually considering paying a kid to shit in the pool
Still workable. Pretty sure i told her i'd eat her out in the woods.
Best. Four. Twenty. Ever.
So i guess i slapped the girl sitting next to me leg and said "You know what they say, got fat legs...you gotta fat BOX"
The dog threw up again, this time IN the toilet. I've taught him well.
Your topless pictures make me question reality
Why is there a cash register on top of my car?
We tried to do sophisticated last night, but our low class kept shining through.
At some point, I’d like to pretend that his penis is a popsicle.
How to not get laid: tell him he reminds you of your brother. While having sex. Thanks, vodka.
If you needed to get laid tonight all you had to do was ask
I figured it out! There's blood on the kitchen floor because I fell into the dishwasher. And there's a face dent. And it doesn't work.
Yea.....I saw that happen.
According to my bank account I spent a penny some where
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