I wish they made portable blow up dolls for girls.
It's called a dildo, genius. Go to sleep.
you'd think with how big her nose is she'd have a better smelling pussy..
Handle of 100 proof captain dressed like a pilgrim here we go
I'm not sure which one did it but one of them fucked the kink out of my neck
It's annoying. I only date people who are 6 foot 3, drug dealers, or 2 years older than me.
I will cut you
Oddly enough thats the second time today someones said that to me
Put that in perspective
Spending 4 hours in the emergency room today tells me that your birthday party was a success.
He woke me up at 3 am, turned me on, then changed his mind. There is no way he is getting out of twilight now.
Honesty, no. I just want to shower you with hot dogs.
I can't believe he just friend zoned me like that.
Dude, you're not even gay.
I have one goal now that I am in the USA. To find a man I can fuck into marriage before my visa runs out.
What is it about fresh air and wanting to talk about penises
I just met him at a place called the meat farm, Jesus be a shield.
I no longer have the means to support both a women and an alcohol addiction
I just sent a Slack that autocorrected tomorrow to gonorrhoea. Please note that Slack autocorrect isn’t very good.
Randomize
