yeah, i liked him til i heard he had a sac that could apparently smother my face.
I just texted him to come over because I want to see if his hand fits the handprint bruise on my ass.....I feel like the cinderella of S&M
So many tools at one table, you'd enjoy my italian family
I know I'm all grown up when I don't have to take my pregnancy test in the store bathroom anymore.
Bering your kids um. Abiout tol. Throw up
I AM THE KING OF THE FRESHMEN
how did i know this would happen?
Ummm so does anybody remember me stopping to get my ear peirced last night and make an earring out of a staple? Or did I just somehow lay on this thing and ram it through my ear?
They put paint on their hands and tried to see how many times they could touch me before I woke up.
Judging by this purple one they got to second base.
Here you are just trying to masturbate and I'm talking to you like your an initiate for some secret society.
I should have bailed a long time ago. I mean, he has a bible verse-a-day app next to his dick pics in his phone.
Hungover, threw up in a cosmetic case in my car this morning. This is real life.
I think the worst part about being a real adult is 1)having a high stress job that makes me want to get stoned 2)paying for reefer using my own money 3)realizing my boyfriends children probably have more weed connections than I do anymore
The body is still out there. I don't think my trainer realized when he asked me not to drink for 24 days, how often I see dead people
How ya feelin' champ?
Like a million bucks that was soaked in alcohol.
I went to a swingers party and came home with a boyfriend. I love my life.
Randomize
