Ryan Ross and Jon Walker left panic at the disco today.
I predict a mass suicide of the 14 year old girl population...
I'm seriously so bored I'm seeing how many rooms I can masturbate in before I get caught.
Four. Poor grandma...
last nights makeup is better than no makeup at all.
We were making out in the bushes when some dude comes and starts peeing beside us.
I don't want to talk about it but I will say, that was the best two headed $68 blowjob. Ever.
I never thought I would say the free bottle of grey goose was the problem but it was
Just had the weirdest flashback. Did we buy melon, take it into the restaurant and try to make them give it to us as dessert?
No it was the best sex I've had in months. Nothing turns me on more than getting rid of a boyfriend.
Also, I think I'm too drunk to be at the gym right now. But how sober do you need to be for IM volleyball?
Me. You. Shitty green clothes from Savers that we will dub alligator costumes. Middle of the quad tomorrow at noon. Bring your alligator voice and the pearls before swine comic.
Just come get me. Somewhere there's hobo that's going to want his dumpster back, and I kinda want to be gone when he discovers the vomit.
Worst case scenario, I put a giant cork in your vagina so you don't give birth before my birthday
currently buying a pregnancy test while braless so happy november to you too
How many nights in 2015 can we have no one get injured, run away crying, or get into a brawl?
This is not a test of the emergency warning system. He has broken my vagina. I repeat he has broken my vagina. Damn it was good.
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