dude, the reading rainbow guy was just talking to a HOLOGRAM
Are you sure you're not watching Star Trek?
wait... oh
Our house smells like week old pizza, beer cans, cigarettes, and depressing career tracks....get lysol.
Fun fact: tonight on intervention was the guy who did my tattoo
Apparently, there is a horrible ghonorrea out break at our school. Woo! What a way for Loyola to welcome us back.
OK, the bar's closing. Do I go to home to my wife or my girlfriend?
I want to have a prehistoric party. By that, I mean I want to dress up as a dinosaur and get drunk. That's all I want in life.
And after getting thrown out of the frat house, getting carried up the hill for a half an hour, puking 5 times, and almost getting stopped by campus security, she still insisted he sleep with her. Gotta give her credit, even blacked she kept her eyes on the prize
This is how my night is going so far. The bartender bought our last two rounds and I'm chasing a bee around the bar with a foam bat.
So this is what you do on your hungover days off put your balls into an egg carton?
also karaoke with swedish 7yr old and drunk 50yr old = best idea ever
Where are you? We're in between the guy dressed as a giant inflatable penis and the Justin Bieber lookalike lesbians
Does the penis have a genital wart?
fuck you
also please return my underwear, they were one of my favourite pairs xo
Whatever, ill dance on the bar at applebees, don't try and act like you're above it.
I am the most hated person in hoboken. Ive been doing drunken cake boss impressions down the street for the past 20 mins.
21st birthday weekend in Vegas has concluded and all I'm missing is my underwear and 'Contacts' icon on my phone home screen.
Randomize
