So shortly after drunk sex...she starts crying and saying..." you don't care about me, you never do anything nice for me" so I called her a cab
There's a girl in front of me with a see through white shirt on and her back says I suck bad dick. Fun night hun?
My mom and I were trying to explain to my sister what an uncircumcised penis looks like. We had some minor disagreements.
Well he's in a two year college so technically hes a senior. At least can we just pretend I'm not robbing the cradle.
If only guys knew how much awkward ass shaving goes into making sex this good...
the moment we started interpretive dancing last night wouldve been a good time to stop drinking.
I got mine. It's a truly beautiful penis. Plus he pulled his tongue muscle on my vagina.
If your boss lets you sleep on his couch, you don't pay him back by boning his daughter.
Why did I wake up with condoms on all my fingers?
Considering the girl you hooked up with, I'd be concerned about not having one on your penis.
Is it bad that I'm a 32 year old woman that is so afraid of commitment that a hamster is too much responsibility?
Just caught myself checking an online porn site while in a strip club. Might have a problem.
I have never encountered a chode in the wild
He is currently passed out on his toilet. Point day drinking.
Damn him and his beautiful face and body and penis.
I just don't think it's that outlandish to ask that I don't get messages from my husband at 8:30pm on a Wednesday telling me he peed on our cat
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