Its not drinking alone if you got Tiger on the Wii.
I miss having pregnancy scares ....at least i knew i was having a good time
No, drunk sperm still make babies.
At this point it has been so long i wouldnt know what a dick was if it slapped me in the face.
also: i found my "nug jug", actually the baby did, but either way it got returned to its rightful owner
Currently bleeding through my leggings. Not good. Not good at all.
Hospital.
I am invincible.
I just woke up tangled in fishing line while wearing someone else's bathing suit with fishes drawn all over me. What kind of sex did we have?
1) I'm a decent drunk texter. 2) My world is spinning. 3) I'll give you a dollar and a hug for a glass of water. 4) I love you. 5) Example: your penatrive ways are overwhelming my alternative lyfestyle. 6) That is all.
7) Noodle arms: engage
The example was me just using big words while hammered. You're welcome. Ambidextrious. I spelled it right.
You asked me if I was judging you for being drunk, and if I can hypnotize you make sober.
Dude this weed smells so good they should make it into a Vicks vapor rub scent and I would rub it all over myself.
Sushi was just eaten off my naked body. I feel like I can die in peace now.
By the way I got my period today. No NHL babies for me.
Let me know. Show me one boob if yes. 2 if no
I don't think my professor is going to remember the Halloween party... or the fact that he made out with a priest.
Go have sex with him right now! Drunk sex is the best sex.
I know but these gold fish are so much better
Randomize
