She asked the class if starwars was based on a true story...
if you were to get worldwide popularity from playing guitar with a plastic yellow bat while drunk on YouTube, would you hate me?
Is there any way to un-invite somebody to a wedding? I just checked out the other family, and I can't have a cockblock there.
she kept peeing on everything and yelling it was now her property.
She's licking the seat belt now. Feeling a little uncomfortable
Remember when you picked me up from my walk of shame with a bike, I came out wearing a Ninja Turtle costume and you let me ride the pegs to thoroughly display the embarassment
After he was done he gave me a case of landshark and tickets to tomorrows yankee game. This is the best nonrelationship ever
Well good for him for getting your number before he told you he had no money and needed you to pay for his drink!
What happened to my knees?
You ate shit in front of the homeless people. They applauded.
He skipped an important family function with his dying father to fuck me. Terrible human, amazing fuck buddy.
Woke up with a $50 attached to my penis with a rubber band..
Sweet. Tell little Richard to buy us a sack and a pizza.
Literally the fucking master of salvaging the possibility of a blow job whilst also crushing somebody's dreams.
you found yr lighter in yr cleavage and said so that's where you've been all my life
Another thing to add to the list of things not to do while I'm drunk......explain to the upstairs neighborr how to have quiet orgasams......she now thinks I want to be part of a threesome......fuck my life
I think he is using me to sort through his relationship issues, past and present. I did not sign up for this. All I want is booty. Am I the dude in this relationship?
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