And then I watched some old guy get arrested for meeting some other old guy for a blow job. It was epic.
just bought a $25 eighth from a chick who has a kid. i'm helping my community out right?
He passed out while I was riding him, and just when I was about to call it quits he opens his eyes and squeezes my boobs and goes Honk! Honk!
I looked up while we were having sex to see him covering my pillow pet's eyes with his free hand. I think I'm in love
I just had nipple jewelry returned to me in the law library.
Is it bad that i wanna bang this girl ONLY because she looks like my cousin?
I AM COVERED IN FAKE BLOOD AND REAL CUM. I AM AWESOME
I was galloping around pretending to give birth to pbrs. I could have used a mask.
ERIN AND I ARE GETTING MATCHING VIBRATORS. I'M PEER PRESSURING YOU INTO JOINING THE CLUB. Besides we're the three best friends that anyone could have, you better not ruin that by being a pussy and not treating your pussy to awesomeness. That is all.
Some cougar Brit said she loved me. America is bouncing back.
I woke up to my one night stand and he said, "now that's the one to beat"
In the ER with Chelz, I may have broken her ankle during sex. Lovely.
Now, one of you come feed me, the other read me my physics book...I'm too hungover for this shit...
It's okay to masturbate while watching the Comey testimony right?
i like that he makes me laugh. those are like my two favorite things. laughing and fucking.
Randomize
