Just saying. If you end up in canada tomorrow morning at least youll have my text to remind you how it happened
he had his head down and said he was listening for the buffalo, he had to still be drunk.
Would it be in bad taste to ask Marky Mark to sign the vibrator I named after him?
We made a bong out of a plastic football. I can honestly say we make a good team.
The bartender from Thursday remembered me... And gave me a FLAMING BUCKET of alcohol.
We didnt even know he was in the house until he came downstairs and asked why he was wet
I dont know. Theres no way you can be ready for the sex hurricane that will consume you.
Hey I came back and we made joints with the breathalyzers the cops left last night.
lets talk about you, dubstep, and a bunny suit.
My liver and my bank account can't afford another all nighter. Help.
So what your saying is I can use her desperation to my advantage. Fuck, this must be how pretty girls feel.
Too stoned. Randomly can't get the image of Emilio estevez's smiling face out of my head. What is life.
When she says 'Polish hangover cure' she just means more vodka. Don't do it.
I'm not talking about Donald Trump in the midst of sending you nudes
He tripped and fell all the way to the ground and then stood right back with out spilling a drop of his 3/4 full glass of rum and coke. It was like watching something from the matrix
Randomize
