smell my finger.
Weekdays seemed more exciting when I had a drinking problem. Like I had something to look forward to at night.
I had his cock in my mouth and he still wouldn't shut up about Star Wars.
just so you know... i was wasted last night, but the evening is coming back to me in flashes... i made you eat gravy last night, didn't i?
Two penises later: I might be straighter than I think.
We have a drunken confused pantless man in our apt. Boots.
Apparently i asked the cab driver how much the ride was going to cost, (he said about $25) then i offered him 50 to let me drive the cab...
Well I'm currently debating between getting toilet paper or getting my eyebrows waxed so... There's that
I sobered up in the middle of it, that I was hooking up with him in a rosemary bush. I woke up smelling like a pasta dish
We have such limited time together he literally sends me text messages that are like "I sent my roommates on an impossible quest, we have 15 minutes." it's that bad.
I need a costume
Dude just wear a bra or something hahaha
Wet should excavate the hamsters out of the front yard n give them a proper burial.
WINE AND FILM. TALK ABOUT AN UPGRADE FROM NETFLIX AND CHILL.
Mike fell asleep with his hand down my pants. I'm clearly an enticing person.
Eaten today: granola bar, pumpkin donut, and fritos. Oh, college nutrition.
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