There comes a time in every man's life where he has to shit in a catbox to prove a point.
the next morning i told him i was impressed that he remembered my name. he said it wasn't that hard when "tracy
you left a giant bottle of vodka in my room from last night. does this serve as a parting gift or hush money?
what the fuck. my fiance told me she called our wedding band last night and told them to perform "best i ever had" for our first dance
God gave him joint rollers for hands
I'm gonna get drunk in the shower and yell at my parents during dinner. Have fun in Texas.
Like we were literally doing coke off his insulin pump
How does one hint at their mentee that they used to casually fuck his brother
Speeding home on my break at work because I forgot to grab my Percocets that I have because getting through work sober's too hard
MESSY REBOUND SEX HERE I COME! Time to start stretching to fit in my back seat again ...
How are you feeling?
I mean, shattered dignity aside, not bad.
I went to smoke a bowl and realized that my lighter is out and there's still frozen blueberries in my bong... I need to reevaluate my life...
Just used the word fistfucking in a serious conversation with my professor in front of the class, while making an appropriate and valid point. Win.
The kid with the ed hardy shirt put a bunch of random shit in the washer and turned it on. example: a hanger, the movie Chocolate with Johnny Depp, and your mom's cat
it will be a surprise...all I can say is stripper clown.
Randomize
