my friend asked What a UTI was in front of everyone, letts just say his girlfriend was a lil pissed
unlike you, ive never imagined darth vader masturbating
When i tried to give you something that wasn't tequila...like water....you kept saying it was against your religion.
I've always been the spiritual type.
Oh well. haha. i couldn't really understand what she was saying. i just nodded a lot. i guesss she found that sexy.
gotta love spring break
gotta love slutty girls from the south
I'm either watching Fifth Element or Hotel Rwanda. There's black people and white people and high life tall boy 18 packs are $11.99 so I could be watching my own hand. I have no idea.
one of the service guys here said i licked ranch off your face lastnight
I'm really sorry I gave you road head last night and made you drive over and break the sprinkler system.
Jen's arm is stuck between a wall and her bed. She's naked and needs someone to go help her.
This makes me miss penis. Not in a horny way... but in a sad, sentimental way.
I gave you a lap dance in a bowling alley... And I was Fine?
Shaving your bikini line at 11 at night in the Walmart bathroom feels trashy no matter why you're doing it.
I'm handling the NHL draft worse than getting dumped this week
Just remembered someone sprayed perfume in my mouth last night after convincing me it was vodka and that i tried to herd ducks around campus and bring one home.
Plus he probably didn't want to be at home, alone... Jacking off on the big screen without you there to lend a helping hand. I mean, let's be honest. It's not fun if it's not a little weird.
She demanded to see my stimulus package, I had to go over.
Randomize
