Yes. Hungover. All the boys are going wakeboarding. Boys only. I wish I was a gay guy so I could go wakeboarding but still suck dick.
I hate when people I sell to add me on Facebook. I'm your dealer, not your friend, C'mon people.
Just blew a perc off the traytable on my flight, spring break has begun!!
Dude, I checked into a cathedral... I thought it was a joke, until I found a candle and a whole bunch of coins in my purse
He went 'unicorn hunting' and lost a fight with a fence. That's how he ended up in the ER.
Okay we're getting vodka and coming
Okay. Joe has my machete attached to his belt
Dude I sat in the corner of the party bobbing my head and singing danger zone
This drunk lesbian I just met keeps trying to shove sushi in my mouth. Help.
Yes. I'm realizing that sports games are good reasons to drink. I just cheer when everyone else cheers.
The minute he showed me his Mumford and sons tattoo is the minute i could literally feel my pussy dry up
He started talking about getting a puppy together. So of course I went down on him later
I think I broke my toilet with my head. There are ceramic pieces everywhere. and I might still be drunk.
I'm at her wedding and she managed to get every single one night stand I ever had in her wedding party. Why does she hate me?
The bad thing is that I bled through my bandages last night and keep finding blood around the house. It's almost like a scavenger hunt for solber me. I get to find out where drunk me went.
outside on the street drinkin, walked into a random house and asked to pee, some kid hands me a beer and says i have to chug it first
Randomize