the recession has oofficially hit my standards.
I cont stop tolking in a british axsent
you kept spraying the cat with water and then telling it to "man up" when it cried
He just yelled in the bar, "So I stuck it in two girls butts, why are you bringing that up now?"
We got a 5L jug of wine for 3 Euro. Italy was a good choice.
Oh my God, that is a gorgeous man. And I wasn't even gay until five minutes ago.
I think it may of been me pulling down my pants is why she walked away.
I'm sad that I feel like I need to temporarily change your name in my phone from Smashley until you have the baby and can be unsober with us again.
I told her my blood type was O Positive and we started making out. Bio majors are weird.
You're never the same once you're dry humped on the frat house floor
this new dose of ADD meds is totally being waisted with the unemployed new graduate thing if only I could add my hyper focused side effects to a coverletter
In between explaining the best feminist lenses for the myth of Persephone and doing vodka shots with my friends she dragged me into my car and gave me an Earth shattering blow job. Honestly I think I'm in love.
So adding to the list of things my boobs can do, sweeping with a broom is apparently a thing.
Where do you think black out memories go?
Into the dark abysmal abyss of the deepest, darkest part of your mind. It's obviously the bodies natural defense to protect you from witnessing the shit you do while actually blacked out.
He makes me want to cheat on my other 3 boyfriends..
Randomize
