So I think I might still secretly love him despite the ass licking...
Hey ass licking is a very nice and intimate thing! Don't discredit your feelings
But what if he licks everyones ass?
were having a shit on karen session at work but then she walked in so we used code names instead and she tried to join in like she knew them
Why are there hot girls at the dollar store?
The recession has changed everything man.
I'm watching tv and he's trying to stick a vibrator in my ass
the girl next to me in class just threw up in a waterbottle during our exam.
Most guys don't get turned on by "skinny, gangly legged girl with glasses laying in bed touching herself." You better start working on your diction if you're gonna keep up the sexting.
drunk pissing on my closed toilet lid is actually quite a sobering experience
Just downloaded the entire Justin Bieber album sober.. I think you know how I'm doing.
styled my pubes into a mustache as a surprise. Thought you should know
The guy who just got ate on True Blood had the same balls as you.
Tequila Tuesdays need to not carry on throughout the week. Having a sad Saturday
woke up in a random sweater in a random bed in a random house on a street I don't recognize..
also, I vaguely remember swapping shirts with some random guy on the dance floor.
I just need like a magic vacuum to suck everything out of me and then an IV to put good stuff back in
You can't talk like Dr. Evil to me five minutes after the greatest orgasm of my life.
I just took a picture of Austin's dick wearing a hat. Except its not a hat it's a DayQuil cap.
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