i like that octo mom she is my favorite xmen
the doormen always congratulate him in spanish as he walks me downstairs in the morning
Had to use Google translator to be able to tell the cleaning lady not to throw away the condoms we have strategically placed throughout the house.
Neighbors just bought a new bong. Got high with them and we decided to name it "Gary colemans sweet sugarlumps" these guys are hilarious
debating whether or not to save the package from my first plan b pill. it would be a nice addition to any baby book.
he's like a stage 5 clinger and he won't even fuck me. he has to be gay. my personality isn't really THAT great.
First funeral I've ever been to where the cops had to come.
I sat on his lap and we shared a beer. I feel like that's an invitation to his dick.
My Grampa even called her out for being a cock block at the bar...it was that serious
well what is some mechanical horse racing with out blow involved
So glad I decided to show up and puke in your trashcan.
These are the moments that bond souls forever.
Just made a beer run. At 9am. In my pjs. I should not be graduating today
I need you to ship me a penis cookie care package.
I threw up soo much that I started crying. Then his grandma randomly came in and started rubbing my back...
Three cheers for handling my crush on my boss in an entirely reasonable manner, by having a threesome with my coworkers.
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