just had a super intense, drunken debate about which blink182 member is the most fuckable. i got so mad i left the room. new low.
your idea of a balenced meal is a microwave frozen burrito, a cup of ramen noodles, and a can of budlight. honestly tell me how your resolution is to lose weight,
is it really high of me to have brought my own hot sauce to wendys?
like we started out all organized and composed and within thirty mins people were throwing up in the bushes, arguing over a beer bong and jumping in the pool with their clothes on
I'm sweating while I eat mac and cheese. That fat.
For some reason 'start yourself on fire drunk' isn't nearly as funny after last 4th of july..
i'm sitting in the second floor bathroom drinking coronas in the shower. do not find me.
ugh i can't even wear this perfume anymore. it just brings back blurry memories of blowjobs and regret.
Well no need to be a stranger, even if you aren't interested in joining my bisexual polygamist marriage. New city, new friends.
I can't believe I cried over a sausage mcmuffin.
He wears a hat. All the time. Even during sex. And I'm okay with that.
I remember because you made a pirate noise when you came.
It's fun yes. But hard on the body. I woke up with her purse, socks and one of her shoes in my room. The other shoe was outside. What the fuck were we doing last night?
I'm cooling my balls with a beer because I'm too cheap to turn on the AC
I'm in the liquor store and fucking "Wannabe" by the Spice Girls is playing. IM ALREADY ASHAMED OF MY REASON FOR BEING HERE, GIVE ME A BREAK.
Randomize
