Wedsnesdays are always enlightening. Tonights revealation: One should not smoke from something taller than their person.
its 10 pm and i am cleaning vomit off the ceiling. i am nowhere near drunk enough for this to be funny.
adderall flavored popcorn. yes we did it and its awesome
This lady in my dui class just asked what patron was. I feel like she doesn't belong here
he got a rim job in the basement.
apparently i was the one who gave it to him.
SARAH B AND I ARE GOING TO GO HALFSIES AND BUY YOU A CAT. IS THAT OKAY. TO KEEP YOU COMPANY DURING THUNDERSTORMS SUCH AS THIS ONE. ITS BECAUSE WE LOVE YOU.
For future reference "bring our litter sisters on our date day" is not such a good idea
Do you know why I have a burn shaped like a tiny spork?
Waking up with a sore back because you put the team on it for jager pong all night
Well you tried to pay for a drink with your keys for one...
Pretty sure that I just proved those labels that say "non-flammable" wrong. totally unrelated, We just made your futon fly with a shitload of fireworks
Well when we Get drunk it gets rowdy. We could always attempt self-control. But historically and statistically speaking, we fail at that.
He still want's to kick my ass for fucking his sister, probably a bad idea to leave the bar with his ex...
I could have sworn that I went home last night... but judging from the couch I just woke up on, apparently not.
I'm sorry I walked in on you guys, but all I heard from outside was her screaming "Dive, dive!". Sex was my last guess for what was going on in there.
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