i was blowing him and "what if god was one of us" came on his playlist. I had to leave
Drinking Grey Goose on the toilet. Don't make me graduate.
drunk sex in a shower = bad idea broken arm
She always manages to outslut me. I can't keep up
I think I'm making progress on my commitment issues. I drunk made out with the same guy from last semester this weekend.
Why is the garage door in the middle of the street?
I just want you to know if you wake up tomorrow morning and wreak of mustard, I was not involved.
Jesus christ how hard is BRING SNACKS AND DRUGS to interpret? I trust your judgement on this one.
Hey bring in backup. its going to take a lot more beer than we think to fill up the water bed...
Quick question, how many times can you get chlamydia before your vagina just gives up and falls off?
I literally told her "she's a sandwich I'd like to make" and that's all it took
He really thought ahead and just left the tequila in the mail box for late night pickup. Best. Friend. Ever.
Its like no one cares im drunk naked wet and ready to throw myself at some one hold on i found a solution to my problems
I love pie. Pie understands me and the spatula
I'd rather be sodomized with a fullly decorated Christmas tree.
Help. Why am I so naked?
Randomize
