do people in england often walk their sheep on leashes? or is this guy the exception to the rule?
Another night, another sound of my neighbor almost having an orgasm.
And she used to have such long ones. Sad.
I've gotten 23 condolence texts about Germany's defeat. I got 3 for our break-up. That's how much my friends don't like you.
Oh and jess is gonna pee in our guest bedroom to mark her territory.
The problem with that is that my car has been stolen
Took "drink until he's cute" to a whole new level last night...
I was like can I please fuck your hips back into realignment
It feels like the devil is humping my brain with his razor sharp erection.
The ecstacy made me so dehydrated I started licking condensation off car windows
I was out of breath when we were getting started and he offered me his inhaler so he's a keeper
Fuck you. You were a total asshole last night.
We will get to that, but can anybody tell me whose fucking socks I am wearing?!
So I missed the eclipse because I was masturbating.
I just split a tacobell party box with my boss. 12 tacos. We were equals for a moment.
On a scale of one to ten how bad is it that the first cardio I've done in months is jogging to the bars?
I'll just go with dedication.
Look don't ask questions just know that one thing led to another and I have a shot glass stuck in my ass. I need your help!!!
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