I'm gonna do things to you that will make the neighbors want to move.
My dog fell asleep in his puke last night. He's only 5 weeks old and has more in common with my friends than I do.
i just bought ciggarettes using my court citation as id. I've reached an all time low.
we're making bets on your personal life
protesters in toronto definately have the best pot
so i may have indirectly taught my 13 year old campers how to give blowjobs.
But seriously he was like a god with his hands. My vagina feels annointed.
Also, my phone suggested the phrase “puke in the mailbox" how many times have I had the need to text that to people?
Pretty sure i brought my phone charger to a booty call
I've got your keys and your panties. You can have one back. Your play honeybuns.
I've entered the world of uncircumcised penises. It's disgusting.
at any given day I am at least 60% invested in my work. today I am staggered around 3.5%
I just want the relationship Bob and Linda Belcher have- is that too much to ask?!
I went to smoke a bowl and realized that my lighter is out and there's still frozen blueberries in my bong... I need to reevaluate my life...
Apparently I’m a terrible influence when alcohol is involved
Randomize
