I'm pretty sure we've had sex a bunch more times than we've hugged. So hugs are weird when they happen.
Totally just asked Dad if I needed to show the real estate guy my tits so he would let us buy the house. I've really got to work on that filtering thing.
when she said she was from California you started sobbing. You begged her not to melt your popsicle because you paid good money for it and you just wanted to eat it in peace.
One night stand. Woke up at her dad's house. She already left for work. Shit's about to go down.
She apparently grabbed another girl and pulled her into the shower fully clothed. When the girl was like "you need to stop" she curled up into a ball and refused to leave.
Whoa, you know how to pick em.
somebody put my brain in a crown royal bag and beat the shit out of it
note to self: shower sex when you have 7 stitches in your leg is never a good idea. never.
tried to chug a glass full of ice cubes. went better then expected.
How have I seen you throw up on yourself 3 different times, yet we weren't Facebook friends until I accidentally hooked up with your ex?
I had sex on a dinosaur comforter, tell me that does not define my life.
my night stand is a mini fridge, dont even try to get on my level of laziness.
Church parking lot, park bench, front porch. I think she's more comfortable going down on me in public. May have found the one.
I think you just described to us the most perfect drunken fairy tale that has somehow never been written
the fact that your 21st birthday is also new years eve is pretty much a death sentence
Turns out tits aren't quite as effective an enticement when they know for a fact that they can't touch.
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