But honestly u used to be a cool guy and lately uve been superame(734): Superlame
i've got to stop sleeping with short guys. they always turn into stage 5 clingers
thats what you get for writing a paper after liquor pitchers
its only a rough draft.
Honestly I miss having a gay roommate. His female friends' implicit trust in him would carry over to me even though they knew Im straight. Best unintentional wingman ever.
Would it be out of line to take a picture of all the earrings, rings, hairclips, and other miscellaneous girl items that I found under my bed and post it on facebook and tag all the girls that I slept with this year so they can claim their shit and get it out of my house?
he also bled all over my floor. unrelated to cats but true nonetheless.
She once gave me sex advice over the phone while intoxicated. So no you don't have the cooler therapist.
"I'm in the bathroom. Only place I can sit and relax without that girl trying to give me a lap dance."
I spilled beer everywhere which led to an oil fire and me melting a spatula again. And then I was late to class so I explained what happened to the teacher.
Yeah, but I think it would be a little awkward to explain to Mom that the girl I brought for lunch is not my girlfriend but just a fuck buddy who I met after she hit and totaled my car last month.
So apparently I initiate sex in my sleep
My history professo slid into my DMs. Granted I did give him “fuck me” eyes during a lecture a few times.
He just looks like he'd be good in bed. He looks like he has a lot of anger built up in him and all I'm saying is that if he took out on my vagina I'm cool with that
Can we just take a minute to acknowledge that you're drinking with your gay ex boyfriend's DAD who is a DEACON??
You remember my neighbor with the perfect ass? It's even better in assless chaps.
Randomize
