White boys cant dance....we did an empirical study
This may sound mean but have u ever just sat in class and look at some of the the people and think how disappointed their parents must be
I think my penis got bigger when i lost weight
He's the equivalent of a body pillow and a dildo. But still funny. We have good pillow talk.
I woke up with like grass burns all over my body, i'm pretty sure i made out with someone under a bus. . . but i'm not sure
I'm currently trying to decide if crown or wild turkey will hurt worse coming back out through my nose later.
I just want to be covered in whipped cream and spanked, is that too much to ask?
facebook is just a cold reminder of all the times other bitches won my hookups
Just realized I've gone to court three different times with papers and a joint roller in my briefcase. #lawyeroftheyear
You puked on yourself, then demanded to take shower. In which you kept saying "its raining"
How bout we save the 40s for when we FINISH the project this time..
i know it looks like there's pee in the mayo jar in the fridge but i promise it's just apple juice that wouldn't fit in the jug after i added the booze.
Oh like it's the first time I've had a bowl of wine
Sooooooo, maybe just fucked on a motorcycle.
So I don't think the seahorse breeding thing is gonna work.
That was random, even for you Mom.
Randomize
