I'm home now. bring me food and boobies
i woke up to see him pissing on your n64. thats like killing a unicorn. punishable by death for sure.
i rewarded my self with tacobell for not throwing up on any one. MISTAKE
of all the people in our graduating class, this is exactly who would get pregnant.
And dont forget my 23rd birthday where with no underwear i crawled through the cage of the police car. Dont get drunk be fore you get drunk.
Seriously? He's going to use MY birthday sex as the opportunity to ask if he can pee on me?!? I let him, but wow talk about selfish.
I just found a piece of glass in my ear from Saturday.
Well there is another shower in Nov. So I have three months to figure out how to get some drunk space fucking. May need some of your mead
Next Halloween, remind me to find a different wingman. Walking out in your pirate costume talking like Captain Ahab while i was banging her and telling me I had to harpoon the white whale really pissed her off.
The best part of the night was you shouting "I have to take the LSAT tomorrow" between shots of fireball.
For the first time in my life, I still have money by the next payday. Who is this responsible person and what have they done with the real me?
On a unprofessional note, there's a new girl in photo.
That wasn't unprofessional. The fact that I'm going to fuck her is unprofessional.
Your face; I've seen enough of it for today. Go away now please.
let me assure you that a rugburn on your forehead is the worst side effect of tequila i have experienced to date.
If I say I hate myself for it does it make it any better?
Randomize
